What Can a Rock Teach Me?

TeachingRockI went to workout this morning, and since I have a new membership at a new kind of gym that has a concept of signing up for classes before coming, and, well… I think you can see where this is going. I didn’t sign up for the class so they put me on the waiting list. You have to pay $12 if you miss a class you sign up for, and I didn’t think to just sign up before running out the door, so I went and the class was full. Well this kind of workout is great for me because I don’t have to think. I used to be a trainer at a few different gyms where I was the one leading the workouts and doing all of the thinking for my clients. So working out has needed to become a release and somewhere that I can turn my brain off and just be present in where I am at.

So I decided to go for a hike instead. Just as I was leaving I was told I could go in the class now, but I had just gotten clear I needed to connect with nature. It had been way too long and I was feeling the disconnect and needed to get grounded and nature is my fav place to do that in. I always say that nature is about as close to heaven as you can get. I have been apprehensive to hike here in Arizona because the desert had not been my idea of nature. Nature is green and lush and full of animals and trees and birds and, you get the picture. So climbing on what Arizona people consider to be mountains was a hold back for me and it has taken me since March to get on a hike.

So the closest “mountain” I could find was just down the street from my house, so off I went. While deciding how to get up the hill, since there were no obvious trails at that point, my main concern was not to get attacked by what they call “jumping cactus”. They literally jump off of themselves onto your clothing or skin. I need to look into this phenomenon to learn why or how this happens. It is energy or electricity that makes them do this? I don’t know but it seems to be a pretty brilliant defense mechanism if you ask me. Now I see why these plants make it so well in this bleak existence and weather. No one or nothing will bother them. So, halfway through the hike I was mainly getting to know my surroundings.

I talked with a gentleman who just moved to the area as well and makes this hike daily. I decided to put my earphones on and listen to music accompanied by nature sounds, as the nature sounds I hoped to hear were not there. When I got to the top of the mountain, they were building homes on the other side of it, so that is what sounds I got to listen to. So I put my earphones in and listened to Dan Gibson’s music with nature sounds and it changed my whole experience. Music is so powerful that way. All of a sudden the “high” you get from physical exercise, mixed with the beauty and high energy or vibration that comes from being in nature, appeared. I felt wonderful! The rocks were more beautiful and the air smelled fresh and I started taking deep breaths.

As I walked further, there was a rock that was flat on the top, but underneath it came to a point like a wide hatchet. It had clearly been moved out of it’s original place, as I could see the imprint it left. So I tried to put it back in it’s original place, but it wouldn’t fit. I tried to stomp on it to force it back in where it appeared to need to be, but it wouldn’t budge. All of a sudden my mind went back to a time where I learned how I no longer fit the way I used to in the family I grew up in. You see, being the 2nd child of 8 children and then leaving home, you learn a few things along the way. I learned that I was a puzzle piece out of 10 pieces in my family dynamics. I left a certain shape, but after some time healing, learning, growing, making mistakes, discovering who I really was, my shape changed and I could no longer fit in the place that was left for me. I would try and be miserable doing so. My husband would tell me how different I was when I was around my family. I have seen that in so many families. So I started forming into myself and it made things uncomfortable because my edges didn’t fit into my families edges. We weren’t a snug little puzzle anymore. And then one by one each one left the nest and their shapes started to change and they no longer fit in the place that was made for them either.

I think the first ones to leave made the most waves to some degree, or maybe just different waves. Simply because we are the first ones to cause discomfort. Unless you are fortunate to come from a family where that normal change is expected and supported, but who comes from families like that? I didn’t and none of my friends did. I’m so glad for the change of shape and that I no longer fit in my original space. If I stayed there my view would have never changed and I would have never seen a new view of the path. I needed to give myself permission to be different and it took many years to learn it was natural and I didn’t have to fight to make it so anymore. I could surrender to life as it is, surrender to the higher power that is all around me and trust it will lead the way. Surrender, now that’s another story. I am great at going on tangents. I can see how that will aide me in going on each subsequent post. One leading into the next.

So if you are trying hard to fit into the mold that once fit you, don’t fight it. Surrender to your growth and enjoy the new view. There are a whole lot more things to see from this new point of view. That is until you outgrow that too.
Till we meet again.

2 Responses to “What Can a Rock Teach Me?

  • I appreciate this point of view so much. I find myself mourning for the days when my children were younger, when I had a boyfriend, when I had a family divorced from… Then I realize where I’m at now and look at my daughter in front of me who will open a new chapter in my life when she leaves to persue her own life, and there are many new fits presently and no way I could fit back into those molds I have come from.

    And that’s okay.

    • It is so freeing to come to a place where we can see the blessing of where we are at now. Regret doesn’t serve accept for learning to let it go and gain all we can from it. I thought I would be sad when the day came that I knew I had zero children left to birth of my own, or adopt in my case. I wasn’t and I was shocked that I wasn’t and I was so glad that I felt “done” in that area and could freely move on to new chapter and that is exciting.

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